The Patriarch's Excrement

Joe Anderson

07 Feb 2026 — 1 min read

Nights 87-103

The long story of Nights 45-145 feels like it is coming to its end: a “holy war” (p. 420, night 87) where the “Army of Islam” (p. 459, night 101) fights against the heathens (the Christians). The writers enjoy smearing the Christians. Literally! Before battle, the Christians rub the excrement of the patriarch on themselves for good luck (p. 424, night 89). This is described in detail, e.g., that since there isn’t enough to go around, they have to mix it with excrement from others.

Most of the plot is driven by the Christian witch, who disguises herself and ingratiates herself with the heroes by posing as an ascetic saint. Some of her plans don’t make sense to me. She has Sharkan at her mercy; why doesn’t she just kill him? The obvious plot holes weaken what would otherwise be a reasonably satisfying ending to this story.

Regarding new Magic cards, I mentioned the “holy war” (jihad?) and “Army of Islam” (Army of Allah) above. We also get a legitimate “Oasis” in night 94 (p. 438): “springs that gushed up . . . the fountain of Paradise.” There is also a black horse (p. 466, night 103), which could be the “Ebony Horse”. It belongs to one of the main Christians (Hardub, father of Abriza, if I’m following the plot correctly). He shows it off before dying in battle with Prince Dau.

Death by Indignation

Chapters 31-33 The plot takes us farther north than we’ve been before, into the desert. We meet a “khan.” And we finally get the “Desert Sandstorm” Magic card (p. 607). The desert is dangerous; Cao Cao only survives his visit through luck. When he returns from it, he rewards

Enter el-Hajjaj

Nights 228-246 (Although I had originally scheduled only through night 245 this week, night 246 was only 2 pages and resolved the story from nights 237-245). The two stories this week aren’t the best stories of lovers, but they are fast-paced. The first story is better. In it, al-Amjad,

Millennium: Purification and Guidance

Chapters 29-30 Sun Ce has a memorable death. A poison arrow ultimately killed him. He could have recovered, but he insisted on burning a holy man to death. The holy man haunted him, greatly distressing Sun Ce and exacerbating the poison until he finally died. His legacy passes to Sun

Peak Misogyny

Nights 210-227 Wow, this story really fell apart. It had been one of my favorites, but it took a very bad turn in this week’s reading. We left Princess Budur, dressed as a man, betrothed to Princess Hayat. Through some twists and turns (and some homophobia), the problem is

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Death by Indignation

Enter el-Hajjaj

Millennium: Purification and Guidance

Peak Misogyny